There may be myriad ways to express your feelings for your partner, but saying those three words beats them all
Blame it on the universal mindset; men simply are not crafted to utter those three words, you think? They may hem and haw or blurt it out if decorum demands it, but are, commonly, wont to find other avenues to express their feelings – right? Men, seemingly, have some level of difficulty in sharing their emotions in a romantic relationship.
But what do you know…psychologists have studies to prove that men are not necessarily reticent when it comes to saying ‘I love you’. In fact, contrary to popular beliefs, men are the ones who first say those words. Although the study is nearly seven years old, psychologist found that men do the first bidding; which, they opine, could be because they feel love first. The study, reported in ‘The Journal of Social Psychology’, way back in 2011, stated that while men confessed love just few weeks into a new relationship, women took their time.
Experts have proposed a variety of theories why men do say ‘I love you’ before women, but, according to Joshua Ackerman, a researcher of the said study, there is a cultural reason why men say it earlier. It is the stereotypical expectation for men to take the lead in a relationship that drives them to confess. For, traditionally, it has always been men who made the first move, whether to ask for a date or propose marriage. And men, say psychologists, believe that women need to be reassured of an emotional connect.
Now, if you have been nodding your head to the above diatribe, do a quick retrospection to ask yourself when was the last time you said I love you to your partner.
Perhaps, you say it all the time…?
But if you are in a new relationship and wondering if the time is right to say those three little words, here is a quick guide to help you get a grip on your relationship status. To begin, there is no specific time frame to express love, nor can it be dictated by any set norms. Nevertheless, a little self assessment could help you understand the comfort level you have achieved in your relationship to create the right ambience for the famous one-liner. As an online dating expert pointed out, finding answers to a few mental questions could help establish if the time is right to say ‘I love you’. The idea is to find out how well you know your girl friend…
If you were able to answer ‘yes’ to any of the three questions, then you could go ahead and say those words; but not before you consider a few pointers, rather dos and don’ts, shared by experts in the game of dating.
- The biggest one is to not say the words in a highly intimate situation. It should not have a cause and effect relationship. Those words, even if genuine, might be misconstrued as the result of the intimate situation.
- Make sure you are in your senses when you say it. Any sign of intoxication could ruin the moment completely; making her wonder if you really meant it at all.
- There is no need for grandiosity when it comes to saying ‘I love you’. If you attempt to create a sequence of events, with a lot of planning going into it, the words may have lesser impact than if it seemed spontaneous.
- Agree, love is a strong emotion and requires one to fully comprehend the impact of those words, but over-thinking will not make it better. Instead of making her play the roulette with he loves me, he loves me not chant, say it if you feel it.
- Remember, after all is said and done, what matters is how you say it, not when or where.