Do you love yourself? Unconditionally?
Do you recall any occasion when you felt totally disappointed with yourself? Do you keep thinking that you are making many mistakes, don’t seem to get anything right. You feel that you do not seem to get along with anyone or you are constantly complaining and sometimes just tend to hate yourself for something you did wrong long back. Do you blame yourself for some incident thinking it was your fault? You do not trust yourself to take decisions or always let down yourself in your own eyes?
Do you love yourself unconditionally to accept yourself with all your weaknesses and strengths?
Self love is, perhaps, the most devalued facets of life, despite overwhelming proof from studies and researches underscoring its importance in self growth and general well-being. Often, people tend to equate self-love with narcissism and dismiss it as a vain and selfish trait. But that is a skewed concept; one that overlooks the values attributed to self love in not just nurturing personal happiness but also in fostering love for others. For, as a psychologist noted, it is only when we love ourselves that we feel truly worthy of someone else’s love.
Take this self-love quiz to find out where you stand on the love spectrum:
1) When you look into the mirror, do you first notice all the flaws in your facial features, your body and your appearance, rather than the real beauty that is staring at you?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
2) If someone were to pay you a compliment, do you hem and haw to accept it and try to underplay the significance of that compliment?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
3) Do you berate yourself endlessly over the mistakes you commit and find it difficult to let go and forgive yourself?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
4) Would you classify yourself as a failure just because you have not met or achieved a certain level of success?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
5) Do you feel as if your world is shattering when someone criticizes your work, your looks or your personality?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
6) On occasions when you do speak up for yourself, do you feel bogged down by guilt?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
7) Are you overcome by feelings of guilt about taking time for yourself when there are things that need to be completed?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
8) Do you indulge in self-destructive habits like smoking or substance abuse when you feel stressed?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
9) Do you avoid going to the doctor or even the dentist as you feel it is only about pampering yourself?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
10) Do you constantly feel dwarfed by people who are better looking or more successful than you?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
11) Do you find it difficult to decide what to order in a restaurant and leave it to others?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
12) Are you afraid to be alone by yourself without some task to occupy you or someone in the vicinity?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
13) Do you find it difficult to set boundaries to stop people from walking all over you?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
14) Do you rely on your friends and family to tell you what to do instead of trusting your inner self?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
15) Are you wont to say ‘yes’ to do something, even when you don’t want to, simply because you feel bad about saying ‘no’?
- Yes [ ]
- No [ ]
Scoring:
Count all the ‘Yes’ answers and see where you fit in.
0: Rest be assured; you have mastered the art of self love.
1 – 3: You have nearly got self-love nailed. You are aware of the importance of following your instincts and honouring your decisions and know just how to make it happen.
4 – 7: It may seem like you have your doubts, but you could easily move on the self-love track. All that you need to do is to learn to speak up and develop a keen sense of your true essence.
8 – 11: There needs to be a gradual realisation that you do need to take a stand for yourself, while simultaneously paying attention to your physical, mental and spiritual needs. Remember, assertive behaviour is a reflection of self love.
12 – 15: Press the pause button on all your thoughts and actions and retrospect every little aspect of your life that shows your disdain for self love. Find out how you could turn all the ‘yes’ answers to ‘no’ and bring in the light of self love into your life. Identify areas in your life that have taken a toll on your mental image of yourself and follow that by learning to like what you see when you look in the mirror. Find out how you could set barriers that halt people from walking over you and go about ensuring that these barriers are strong enough. If people in your friends or family circle have been reinforcing your low self-esteem, the time is now to cut those friendships and even family members from your life. Remember you are as good as you feel and go about ensuring that you love yourself enough to spread that feeling around.