As men, there is so much that society has instilled in us that we slowly need to unlearn. All the toxic masculinity, the reinforcement of gender roles and the patriarchy that we’ve grown up around is neither right nor desirable. This is especially true when we embark on romantic relationships. The role we play as partner comes with a certain responsibility – we ought to make our presence in our partner’s life feel like a blessing, not a curse. And for that reason and to be better there is so much to unlearn, and so much more to learn.
Practise the following steps and you’ll find yourself a better partner to your significant other…
Take care of yourself
Your health depends on how well you care for yourself. And though your partner will look out for you, making sure you are alright is up to you. This includes both physical and mental health. Sleep well, don’t engage in unhealthy habits, exercise regularly and get timely health checkups. If your mental health is weak, seek help. Being healthy and willing to care for yourself automatically takes the weight off of your partner’s shoulders and impacts your relationship positively.
Practise gratitude
If you want to be better partner, be careful of your language. Make sure your sentences are peppered with words of gratitude for the things you have, the family you enjoy, the partner you have the pleasure of sharing this life with and all other blessings. Things may not always go your way, but constantly dwelling on the negative can be emotionally strenuous on your partner. Being grateful even in times of distress will help you as a couple to persevere and stay strong.
Be humble
There are only two people in your relationship, and letting ego be the third is a big no-no. None of us are indispensable. Be humble and confident. Understand that to be with your partner is a blessing, and ensure your actions make them feel the same way too. Show up for your relationship. When in public, be humble to everyone around you. No one and nothing is beneath you.
Be you and let them be themselves
You may love video games, watching horror movies and eating street food. Your partner may be a voracious reader, may love watching rom-coms and eating sushi. While it is important to do things together, cancelling out the other’s interests or likes is not the right way to go about it.
Find time on a daily basis to be yourself and do things you love while your partner does things she loves. And then find time to do things you both love together.
This will help the both of your thrive in your relationship.
Focus on your partnership
This relationship is not a competition. It is not about how many times you’ve been right or your partner has been wrong. It is a partnership. A collaborative effort. Working at it, resolving conflicts and letting the relationship grown and be dynamic while evolving together is essential to both of your happiness and betterment of the relationship.
Don’t expect your partner to parent you
Growing up, our parents do a lot of things for us, like chores, caring for our needs and correcting our missteps. But once in a relationship, don’t rely on your partner to parent you. Don’t wait to be told to do your chores or pay the bills. Don’t wait for meals to be put on the table; cook together instead. Don’t huff, puff, grumble and rant. Remember, both you and your partner have your own responsibilities to follow through, so do your bit without being asked to.
Support your partner
You are a team, and yet you both will have individual dreams and goals that you wish to fulfill. Support your partner in her choices, for achieving dreams is no simple feat and the challenges and hurdles one must overcome on the way become that much more easier to brave when one has the support of their partner. Do not at any point consider your dreams greater or more important than those of your partner. Find a way to stick together and motivate each other through the thick and the thin, and your relationship will come out victoriousand better on the other side.
