It is believed that human beings are social animals. However, for some of us, that is easier said than done. If you shy away from crowds, suffer from nerves or avoid situations that require communication, and just come off as introverted all the time, you my friend might just be undergoing a phase of “social awkwardness.” But do not worry because we’ve got your back. Here are a few ways you can improve your social skills. So be prepared to say goodbye to all those jitters.
Don’t Stress, Just Express
Fear of being judged by other people often impairs social behaviour. Most people feel awkward because they’re unsure of how others perceive their personalities. Communication is a form of expression. It is a chance to express yourself. So, worrying about impressing people with your social skills should literally be last thing on your mind.
There is Nothing Wrong in Just Being YOU
Always remember that there is only one YOU. One of the main reasons we socialise is because we want to build our network. Be it personal or professional, we require an honest, effective, and happy community to survive in this rollercoaster called life. As individuals, when we communicate by just being ourselves, we give each other the opportunity to grow a diverse network. We are introduced to different personalities which is much needed in life. So, always remember there is only one YOU. Just stay calm. You don’t have to fit in, you just have to be yourself and let your network grow organically.
It’s Okay to Feel Awkward
When it comes to social interaction, everyone is different. Your level of interaction depends on various factors such as experience, exposure, and confidence. But most importantly, it is dependent on the situation or social setting you are involved in. New social settings and interactions trigger unfamiliarity or sometimes discomfort no matter how socially adept you are make you lose your nerve. Feeling awkward is human. So, remember that it is okay and you are not the only one who feels this way.
4Ps: Plan, Practice, Patience, and Progress
Going from down low to up top doesn’t happen overnight. It requires an effort on our part to grow and become better. When it comes to social behaviour, it is always good to follow the 4Ps:
Plan: Always prepare for your social encounters. You start by identifying the triggers. At what point do you start feeling uncomfortable? Once you identify the triggers that make you nervous you need to plan how to tackle such situations. Planning eliminates the sense of unfamiliarity from otherwise uncomfortable situations.
Practice: No matter what new task you take up, you will never reach close to perfect without practice. You need to practice. Join online chat forums, involve yourself in smaller discussions. Most importantly, stop avoiding social gatherings. You don’t have to start interacting immediately. But you can always be a listener and observe how other people chose to interact. Observing is an incredible form of practice because you learn so much and you can always use your observations to drive your interactions in the future.
Patience: When social interactions make you uncomfortable, you won’t be able to shed away that feeling really quickly. It is rightly said that patience is a great virtue. When we talk about patience, we ask that you be patient with yourself. Everyone is different. Stay calm and avoid any frustrations that could lead you to lose your nerves and give up. It is okay to take it slow and really let this skill grow on you to a point where you can control it.
Progress: Always, always, always appreciate your progress no matter how big or small. Keeping track of your progress and celebrating them helps keep you motivated. Your progress could be something big like ‘You made it to a social gathering and stayed the whole time interacting’ or it could be something as minimal as ‘You said yes to going to a gathering, when normally you would have avoided it.’ Even that little “yes” has more power than you can imagine. Celebrate your progress. Pat yourself on the back more often.
The Most Important Thing
You are not socially awkward. It is just a phase and you need to remind yourself that you’ll get through it. Being socially awkward is one of the most normal and inevitable feelings everyone experiences at least once in their life. No one is ever a 100% all the time. It takes work and patience to shake the nerves. If you try and implement what we’ve discussed just a little at a time, you’re on the right track!