If you feel housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door, you would, perhaps, agree that sharing in the chores could act as a door-stopper, providing a breather for the one tasked with major chores. For, sharing in the house chores, whether it is cleaning, dusting, cooking or washing, can effectively mitigate stress and even establish a sense of harmony in the proceedings within.
Forget what the stereotypes dictate; shun the archaic ideologies of a woman’s place in the house – rather house chores – and create a sharing structure that has its roots in the basic premise of fostering positive environment in your house. Studies have indicated that women list unshared house chores as one of the top source of their stress; in fact, stress levels are also said to rise when one of the members is unhappy about unfinished chores. Often, what starts as little quibbles over who does what can flare up into major fights if not checked on time. House chores can prove to be a thorn in an otherwise happy relationship…
Despite the harp on modern thinking and liberal attitudes, in most households it is the woman who is expected to do majority of the household chores, even today. She is the one who returns home from work to get straight into the kitchen to cook or to do the daily dusting and cleaning. If this is the scenario in your house too, let’s get down to changing the status quo with some sharing is caring attitude – sharing house chores, that is. When household responsibilities are shared, it can prove to be a source for improving marital satisfaction and household happiness.
Check out some tips and guidelines to get on the sharing bandwagon.
First things first
Whether you are newly married or have been long in your relationship, what is important to get the household chores sorted is allocation of tasks. This calls for a little chat to understand how you could work out the division of chores – depending on whether you are content with the mess in the house or want your living space to be spick and span. It is about understanding the importance of compromising, if need be, to ensure that individual priorities are met adequately. So, draw up a plan of action that covers all the chores around the house, from cooking and cleaning to dusting and arranging. Identify chores that you or your partner hates to do so as to find an alternative path to complete it – you could either get outside help or perhaps do it together.
Prioritise chores
Not all household chores have a daily schedule, unless you are a cleanliness freak and want your house dusted and the floor scrubbed every single day. Understand the basic necessities of your home and, depending on the regularity of individual chores, list out who does what, without placing the onus on the one who gets home earlier from work. Besides, it would help to rotate the chores so no task is indefinitely pushed on to one – and that includes cooking too. Household chores can seem overwhelming when one of the members is tasked with majority of the work or even the same chore every single day. Adding an element of diversion by changing the routine would make things easier.
Dos and Don’ts
- Do involve children in house chores so as to instill the importance of sharing tasks early on.
- Do set a time for individual chores so as to establish a pattern that works for all involved.
- Do not hover around to check if the task meets your approval; learn to accept the limitations and be flexible in your expectations.
- Do not add your list of specific requirements on to the roster of chores drawn; if you are the only one who wants, say, the silver polished in a particular way or the towels folded in a style, go on, get it done yourself.
- Do not be rigid about finishing a particular task at the set time; forcing your partner to complete a chore when they aren’t ready for it will only lead to friction in the house.
- Do consider each one’s weekly schedules before creating the list of individual chores; besides, keep rotating the tasks so both get to share in different chores around the house.
- Do make time to talk over any house chore issues you may have, especially if one or both of you have not followed through with your tasks.
- Do not impose your diktat on how a task needs to be accomplished.
- Do hire outside help if things are not flowing smoothly with the set schedule. Getting clothes ironed from the neighbourhood laundry is one of the easiest options to consider. A dishwasher is another possibility, if money is not an issue.
- Do realise that you are not helping your spouse by sharing in the chores; you are doing your role in maintaining the household together.