Prop your legs up and sit back. Turn on the television and put on your favourite romantic comedy romp. After the first meeting, when the sparks have flown and love is in the air, the romantic montage that follows shares glimpses of the couple eating cotton candy, enjoying a fair, walking goofily around, hands entangled, splashing in a water body and dancing on the streets. What remains common in every scene is laughter – heads thrown back, smiles reaching their eyes and hearty belly laughs that are heartwarming. And voila, they are in love!
Real-life is not much different. Relationship experts have time and time again found that humour in relationships, whether short term on long term, plays a key role in the success and satisfaction gained from the relationship. Ask a friend why they love their significant other, and more often than not, they’ll tell you, “He/she makes me laugh!” It seems so simple, so nonchalant. We hardly ever stop to think why humour is so important in a relationship.
An attractive trait
When it comes to meeting romantic partners or ‘the one’, humour is one of the first traits that we look for. It is attractive and works as an ice-breaker in an otherwise nerve-wracking situation. Humour thaws the awkwardness and endears one to the other. It helps relax defence mechanisms and emotional walls, and paves the way for conversation, getting to know each other and may even lead to a lasting relationship.
Positive humour v/s aggressive humour
There are many kinds of humour, but they can largely be grouped under these two types – positive and aggressive. Positive humour is well-meaning; the kind you use to cheer someone up, to lighten the mood, and to help cope with a difficult situation. Aggressive humour, on the other hand, is mean-spirited. It involves teasing, making people the butt of your jokes, using taunts interchangeably as jokes. In relationships, positive humour is necessary as a couple weathers storms together, while aggressive humour can cause animosity and pain leading to the failure of a relationship.
Conflict resolution
While in the heat of a conflict, one’s first thought isn’t to induce humour into the situation, it is believed that taking a little while apart and revisiting the reason for the conflict with the help of humour at a later time can help a couple work through the issue in a lighter manner, without having to play the blame game. Humour lifts the weight off the tense moment and opens the gate to understanding and communicating effectively.
The ability to be laughed at
In general, a person who is okay being laughed at is easier to be around and a better partner. Sharing jokes and poking light fun at each other, being playful in the moment is all part of a healthy relationship. For this to continue being healthy and satisfactory to both partners, considering the situation is of utmost importance. The wrong thing said at the wrong time can hurt your significant other even though that was not your intention. So, read the room, the mood and then crack that joke.
Shared laughs are everything
In long term relationships, the couple finds that their senses of humour match and that more often than not they share loud, throaty belly laughs together. When senses of humour are on the same wavelength, the couple is able to see eye to eye on what is funny and what is not. The level of goofiness is maintained and the kind of playfulness they both like comes into play here. That’s not to say that they will laugh at every joke the other person makes or find the same movies funny; it is more indicative of the willingness to understand the humour of the other, and in some cases means laughing at them instead of with them. As long as it’s well-meaning, all is fair in love and laughter!