Men, typically, do not express their emotions. Agree?
Social media may have provided a platform to prove otherwise with a slew of emoticons to redress that issue, but, generally speaking, men have a knack for withholding emotions. Can that be blamed on the stereotypes established by the society or traced back to the childhood days when every display of emotion was chastised with a ‘boys don’t…?
While sporting events have men go over the top with their demonstrations of joy or disappointment, it is the mundane, everyday events that fail to evoke the appropriate emotion.
There are various theories for the marked difference in emotional displays between men and women. One psychologist attributed it to a general transference of strong emotions with socially acceptable anger – say for example, sadness expressed as anger; while another highlighted the pattern of emotional expressions only in places where they feel is safe and acceptable.
Somewhere along the line, men have found themselves in a double bind as the society, on one hand, encourages them to express their emotions, while hinting that they need to honour the general belief that men who are macho do not fall prey to emotional displays. And so it continues…men who deviate from the traditional masculine bounds by being emotionally expressive or verbalising their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.
Of course men also experience intense emotions, but, as a psychologist noted, men tend to bury their emotions, as they are not trained adequately to display them. But there are ways to assess
emotions, especially of the heart, with cues from the body language and little actions.
Decoding men’s feelings…
- Remember the stereotypical image of a gentleman laying his jacket on a puddle for the lady to cross? That may seem over the top in the present context, but the gist of the matter is that men just know how to make their loved ones safe by simply being close to them.
- You can be assured of his affection if he makes your favourite beverage and brings it to you, even without you asking for it.
- When he asks your advice about something that relates to his office work or even general topic, it is an indication of his respect for your input.
- Taking you out to dinner has its own charm, but a man who cooks for you is telling you in no uncertain terms that he cares for you.
- When he fixes things around the house, instead of calling a mechanic or a professional fixer, you can be assured that he has your interests at heart.
- You know that you have a special place in his heart when he shares things from his past or reveals a secret.
- He definitely loves you if he has a special name for you.
- Remember to be there for him when he is silent or retreats into his man cave; give him the space he requires but understand that he needs your help.
- Call him traditional or romantic, gifts, even flowers, are his way of pleasing you – of saying those three precious words.
- And if he is listening to you, intently, he is telling you that he values your words.
- Physical proximity is another indication of his feelings for you, more so when you are at a party in his friend’s house.
- If he holds your hand while watching television at home or out shopping in the mall, he is expressing his joy of being with you.
- Tagging along with you even if it is to pick up the weekly grocery is his way of expressing his desire to spend time with you.
- Another interesting measure of his feelings is when he subconsciously imitates your little actions: whether it is touching your arm or leaning towards you.
- When he gives a peck on your cheek or forehead, he is telling you that he simply adores you.
- Be assured of his feelings for you if he randomly calls or messages you to ask how you are…
